Every soul we cross paths with has a reason for showing up in our lives. We encounter people and situations to help us grow and evolve. For anyone who has ever had a pet they know that this holds true for those furry creatures that we share our time and space with.

I have personally been blessed with some very special pets that have been amazing teachers. I’d like to share a journey I took with two amazing little chihuahuas. It starts when I had an undeniable urge to get a chihuahua puppy. My partner at the time thought I was a little nuts since we were both large dog fans. When I just couldn’t squelch the desire, and he finally tired of the begging, he agreed to explore the possibility saying, “I know you have very strong intuition and if there is some reason it is telling you to go down this path, let’s see why.” Little did we know what kind of  journey we were about to embark upon.

After some time searching, and not a whole lot of luck, for an adoptable pup at a humane society and calls to every puppy ad in the paper we finally received one sole return call. The man had one puppy left from a litter of 3. When we looked at the photos online it didn’t fit the “perfect picture” we had painted for what we wanted, but after such a long search and this being the only result that returned, we agreed to make the 2 hour drive the next day to meet the dog.

The entire night I couldn’t sleep. I was stressed that this wasn’t a good idea. We couldn’t really afford to buy a puppy – and I would much rather adopt one from a humane society – and besides that, something was just nagging at me. In retrospect, I now recognize that feeling as some resistance, that I was already aware of on some level, to the huge amount of personal growth I was about to emabark upon.

When we arrived at the man’s home the next day it was love at first site – is true that our wishes always come back a little different than we had envisioned.  Besides, how could you not be immediately enamored with a puppy, any puppy, the size of a tennis ball. He was so soft, cuddly and sweet. As we went outside to “discuss amongst ourselves” whether or not we should take the little guy home my partner, who was a lover of wine, said “His soft coat reminds me of the smoothest glass of pinot I’ve ever tried.” Um, yea. How can you say no to that? On the drive home I remember locking eyes with this little guy and being instantly in gratitude that he had come into my life.

We decided on the name Diesel.  I was in a bit of shock at first with how hard it was to care for a puppy. I remember thinking one day, in frustration, “What was I thinking? It’s like having a baby!” And I wasn’t exactly ready for that. However, amidst the challenges of potty training, finding someone to watch him when we went out of town, etc. an intense love for this little creature quickly grew.

Fast forward to when Diesel was 9 months old and we started to notice that he was sleeping a lot more than normal. A few more days go by and he starts shaking and whining. We took him to the vet and they didn’t think it was anything other than feeling a little under the whether. We continue to helplessly watch him not be comfortable in his body, have little appetite and sleep away the days. Then one Saturday afternoon, while taking him out to the bathroom he collapsed in the hallway. The doctor at the emergency vet noticed some swelling in his joints and they wanted to keep him overnight in order to stablize him and run some tests. It turns out he had juvenile onset of immune-mediated polycystic arthritis. An auto-immune disease similar to rheumatoid arthritis. This was very rare for dog, especially a chihuahua, to get. The news felt devastating, but in retrospect, it was a perfect unfolding of events.

We started him on pain medication and steroids, which I knew were not going to be good for him in the long run – but they seemed to be the only thing that made him comfortable and bring some life back to his sweet little personality. I was always someone interested in alternative modes of healing and I became obsessed with researching non-traditional methods to help him. My passion for healing was more intensely sparked than it ever had been before. I had always, in the past, flirted with ways that I could become a healer but I never followed through with any of them. Now, I had this little creature depending on me to find help for him. In my research and experimentation which included, homeopathy, pet psychics, healing crystals, science and consciousness conferences,  meditation, recommendations from friends,  theology schools, books about clairvoyance, etc. a syncrhonistic chain of events began to unfold. It led straight (although I couldn’t see that clearly at the time) onto my current path and helped me to embody my gifts as a clairvoyant healer.

Diesel passed away just a year after he came into our lives. I happened to be on the road at a Science and Consciousness conference when it happened and didn’t experience his passing in the physical. When I returned, I was suffering in my sadness and decided to take action and enrolled in a class called “How To Heal Yourself”. That ended up being a life-changing decision for me. I know Diesel had come into my life to help me heal myself – and in doing so showed me how to heal others.

A month after Diesel passed on there was one especially sad day for me. That night I had a clear dream about him playing with a small white, happy-go-lucky dog. This little creature manifested in the physical the very next day. I saw him in the paper, and again, it was love at first site. We called the breeder and they told us that dog was no longer available, but they had others.  I couldn’t tell you why, as I was still very much attached to the idea of Diesel and felt somewhat like a cheater, but I was driven to go take a look. When we arrived the little white dog came bursting down the stairs and seemed thrilled to see us. The man thought it was odd that this normally shy dog, was jumping so excitedly all over us. He had intended to keep the pup for himself, but he couldn’t deny the connection.  And that was it – he was mine. Again, driving home I locked eyes with this little man and felt something move inside of me. I couldn’t help but observe the simple physical differences between this dog and Diesel.  Diesel was a dark brown dog and this one bright white.  As I often like to think now, you can’t have the light, until you’ve experienced the dark. Wow, what a metaphor I was living!  As I welcomed “Q” (the letter that was formed perfectly on his back with two cute gray spots) is for Quantum into my life, it was inevitable that more growth was on the way.

A couple of months later I decided to move more in the direction of my dreams. I got offered a job in Santa Fe, NM working with children in an afterschool program. Although not in a healing capacity, it would be the perfect next step in the direction of my long-term vision in working with kids. I moved with 10 days notice and dived right into a new way of life.  I felt so happy and free. Thank you Diesel. You had come into my life to show me the way into a lighter, brighter, path.

Prior to moving I had continued my self-healing training at a center in Boulder, CO and was just about to drop into their advanced Clairvoyant training. I left without attachment, thinking,t “Oh well, done with that, I’m not really psychic anyway.”

Ha, boy-oh-boy, what did I know?

To be continued …

“How can you ever worry when you have seen your soul – your strength, your beauty, your golden wings. Jump into the abyss and you will fly.” - Deepak Chopra.

I came across this tweet on Twitter today. It is a basic concept that I have embodied with heart and soul for many years now, however the way Mr. Copra phrased it on this day has struck me particularly hard because of how it is worded in a manner that paralleled a dream I had the night before last.

It was a very intense and clear dream. I was the passenger in a car driving on a beautiful, scenic and windy road. The driver was not recognizable to me in my consciousness, but I know she was a friend. In the back seat, my son was strapped into his carseat content and happy. We came around the corner to an amazing landscape of stark white snow and a wide open lake lay below the cliff in front of us, completely frozen over. Everything was icy-white with underlying tones of earth-brown. We were in awe and the driver said, “See, isn’t it beautiful?”. Just as I was about to agree, the road suddenly ended and we were catapulted off the cliff, headed straight into the icy abyss below us. I was struck with this immediate knowing that we were not going to survive. I right away had the thought that I needed to use my spiritual tools, most importantly energetically grounding myself and my son. It was instantaneous, this surrender and knowing that everything as I had known it was about to completely be gone. The sense of calm that came over me as I acknowledged this was surreal.

I began the imaging around the grounding of our physical bodies as we were simultaneously crashing into the rocks below and quickly plummeting into the icy water. When we entered the water it began to have a golden glow. Then, all of a sudden we were rapidly being sucked into this beautiful golden light and it was as if we were speeding through a luminescent, multi-tone, golden tunnel – just like a high-speed tram. It kept occurring to me how amazing this was, and it wasn’t scary at all. I was excited to see what would happen next.

Next, I am on the shore of that same lake, a shift of seasons later because all the snow is gone and everything is mud-brown, like it often is in the spring as the winter snow starts to melt. I am accompanied by one of my close friends from college, and he and I are going to start searching the shores of the lake for the car and our bodies. He pointed me in the direction towards the cliff I remembered cascading down, and he set off in the other direction in case the wreckage had been carried downstream. I remember thinking how odd it was that I was searching for my own body, and the scene of where I had died.

As I began my quest I came across these giant machines digging into the hillside, scraping the cliffs away and completely changing the structure of the valley the lake was held within. The machines were having a hard time doing their tasks, as the landscape was very set into place. They were gyrating and getting stuck as they worked, but also relentless in their tasks – creating a terrible mess as they went. I quickly got into this state of panic that I would never be able to find myself (my old body) because if these huge machines couldn’t navigate their way and were just making things less and less recognizable, how in the world would I be able to get around – let alone find any parts of myself that might completely be buried or hidden underneath the water.

Wow, can you start to see all the millions of hidden meanings within this dream?

I remember finally coming to a resolve that it was okay, and that I didn’t need to find the old parts of myself. I wasn’t losing anything by letting go, and I knew that everything was perfect right there in that moment. I realized that it was perhaps a waste of energy to continue looking for those old pieces of myself. Ones which I had, actually, quite peacefully let go of when the time had come. I went to find my friend to tell him we could stop searching. I had everything I needed right there – my spirit was in tact, I was refreshed, happy and healthy.

During the dream I was trying to consciously figure out what had happened between the two scenes.  What I came to, was that it was as if I had woken up in this place vibrationally below where I had been – above on the cliff being an enlightened state, among loved ones, where I could see the beauty in all, and below being back in the physical world, with an old friend, and a bit of chaos that was causing some resistance and fear within me.  It had the thought that it was like I was returning (as I dived off the cliff above) to help others find skills, and new ways of seeing the world, that I had already learned about. I enthusiastically, and without fear, had come to help people navigate the new landscape that was quickly being changed by things much larger than us (in this case, the metaphor is the machines). I told my friend that I had lots of tools to help people do this.  Now fully aware of my “wings” and with a new sense of duty, I had an understanding and a certainty that I could stay (energetically/vibrationally) above what was happening around us, be in charge and help everyone through the changes.

My interpretation, in a nutshell: Things are about the change for me, in a very big way. It’s time to let go of everything as I know it. I no longer need to search for, or fear, old parts of myself. I have tools to move forward, and it is my time to reach further out into the world and empower people with self-healing abilities that will help them as the energetic, moral, and structural landscape of the world shifts. As I jump into that abyss, with calm certainty, I will undoubtedly take flight. And I can easily find calm within that awareness, and allow myself to take the leap.

Stay tuned for changes to come!

I recently had a dream where I was invited to attend a private meeting with many of today’s great spiritual leaders. The gathering was held in someone’s home and before things got started we were all sitting in the living room sharing what we were each going to speak about during the meeting. When it got to be my turn I was a little caught off guard, presuming I got to partake by simply listening to all the goings-on, and I said “Uh, I wasn’t aware that I was going to have to present anything”. Shock and disbelief from the entire room. I quickly chimed in, “But, that’s okay, I’ll just make it up in the moment.” A flood of relief came over everyone as there seemed to be acceptance with that answer, and it was quickly on to the next person. Throughout the dream I had that feeling – you probably know it – where, as you are taking a nap and just start to wake up your body feels all tingly, relaxed and all around euphoric; but your head feels all numb, you can’t quite wake up and are tempted to roll back over and continue sleeping.

What does this dream mean to me? Well, I took it as reinforcement that I am starting to awaken to my role as a spiritual leader, and the essence of what that will look like, in this lifetime, is just starting to manifest into my physical reality. When I catch glimpses of it through my teaching, doing psychic readings, energy work and meditations I feel amazing, my heart sings and it’s a general state of serenity. However, I’m still in that awakening phase where I’m often tempted to return to my old ways of being, and it’s oh-so-enticing to roll over and go back to sleep.

This shows up in many different ways within my life, especially in the form of self-created blocks or “excuses” to avoid exactly those things that DO feel so good as I start to come out of my cocoon. Sometimes my heart aches to know what is beyond right here in this moment; and the evil co-conspirators, the ego and my survival instincts, start to get in the way by telling me that I’ll never make it going down this path and I must switch courses by going back to what I already know. As I continue to let go of my personal demons, such as lack and persecution, while increasing my ability to connect more deeply with my spiritual knowingness, I must remind my self that there is only the now. As long as I continue to do the things that inspire me, from moment-to-moment, I am one step closer to finding my eyes more open. All will be revealed in it’s own time, and not a second sooner.

I sense that all of humankind is being given opportunities to free themselves of past-time ways of being in order to become more authentic and true to the Self. Whether it be the loss of a job that had no meaning, the letting go of relationships that don’t allow personal growth, or being confronted with other challenges rooted in the ego we are all being asked to find trust within the change. As we go through these challenging and dark times, together, we are awakening for a brighter day. All we have to remember is: make it up in the moment, that’s where the knowing can be found.