It’s been a very long week. My two-year old son has been sick.  It started with a 103+ degree fever that left him lethargic, turned into an upper respiratory cold and ear infection that made him hyper-emotional and all-around uncomfortable in his body.  The primary thing that settled him all week was laying cuddled in bed with his neck propped at just the right angle in the crook of my elbow.  Of course there were plenty of times where I was jumping up and down trying to find the right remedy to calm the coughing or to appease his endless requests for juice, something to eat, a different kind of juice, something else to eat (because of course nothing tasted good), etc. etc.  I’m sure all parents know the kind of week that I am talking about.  Exhausting and heartbreaking.

A couple of nights ago, at the end of the day, as I we laid down in his bed together – with my arms around him and his body at just the right degree of uprightness to stop the coughing so he could fall asleep – I let the extreme tiredness begin to creep into my body too.  However, my mind wouldn’t stop running around in circles with different things that I could possibly try tonight, or tomorrow, that would help him to feel better and get through it all the faster.  I was totally stuck in my mind and that “doing” mode that it’s so easy to get caught in.  As soon as I became aware of where my mind was on auto-pilot, I said “Wait, you know what to do.  This is what you DO, little miss healer.” I was immediately brought to the concept that everything is energy.  I got out of the thinking loop and went to the place that every cell in my body knows as reality and where my mind, with a lot of training, has learned to trust.  I asked myself “What is the way to heal this, energetically?”  Well, with LOVE of course.

I instantly accessed that place deep inside my chest – that is so easy for me to find these days, unlike 4 years ago when it was nearly impossible to find that frequency within my body no matter how hard I tried – and began to consciously work on letting it expand outwardly.  I visualized it filling up my whole body, begin to spread around my son, and then all through the room.  I held that feeling and intention for as long as I could.  Whenever my mind started to wander I would bring myself back to that place.  Soon, he was sleeping calmly and I crept out of the room.

As we laid down together tonight I immediately brought myself into the love space and felt grateful.  While my son was falling asleep, I contemplated how amazing this life is and how what we really are here to do is learn about the healing energy of love.  Why is it so healing?  Because it is our true source and when we are connected to that there can be nothing amiss.  I also let the fleeting thoughts come in about how love can cause so much pain, such as what we experience during a heartbreak (loss of relationship, death of a loved one, etc.). I was immediately aware that this is ultimately healing in it’s own way, and the souls we go through these experiences with are our greatest supporters (as we are theirs) in our spirit’s quest for understanding true love.  We experience pain to help us clear that which no longer serves us on our journey, just like a fever helps us to clear a virus that is affecting our physical body. Pain urges us to continue forward in our journey by demanding that we let go and move toward a more brilliant light – never ending steps on the ladder towards the highest love.  Experiencing darkness so we can truly see the light.

When my son uttered “mommy love you” as he drifted off to sleep I felt a surge in that energetic space that I was holding us in and immediately felt validated.  Perhaps I’m doing something right on this current journey that I’m on – otherwise known as the great love lesson called mommyhood.  Happy Mother’s Day to me!

A regular practice in my life has been remembering to consciously breathe. Yea, yea I’ve never actually forgotten to take those simple breathes that supply oxygen to my cells – but doing it in a very intentional manner is one of those things that was actually shut down during my childhood.

When I was younger, I clearly remember some of the adults in my life taking big exhales during times of stress, and being the empathic child that I was I quickly absorbed all the “yuck” they were exhaling as if I were an extra absorbant sponge. As one might guess, it didn’t feel so good. I remember at one point making a conscious decision that I would try very hard never to make noise when I breathed so as not to affect others around me.

Fast forward 20 years and I quite frequently found myself feeling my body all locked up, headachy, stiff, unenergized, etc. It took me several years to realize part of why I felt so terrible was because my breaths had turned into shallow inhales, and only when absolutely neccessary. Eventually, I finally made the connection that the decision I had vividly made when I was a child, to take silent breaths, had turned into something so much more. I had completely pushed any consciousness out of the way I was feeding my body what it needs to support not only my cells, but also my spirits’ ability to connect into my physical being.

When I started my meditation practice and began taking classes at the Center I would frequently hear the teachers taking loud intentional breathes to incite the students to do the same. This was something I resisted, even then, sitting in meditation giving to no one other than myself. Once I began thinking about being a teacher I remember thinking “Yea, but I’m not going to take those loud breaths for everyone to hear, I just can’t do that!”

During my clairvoyant training our class was going to have a group breath session led by Juli Somers, and I was in so much resistance to it that I actually, unconsciously, manifested a 102 degree fever and had to miss class. Once I finally started to put things together I realized how much I dreaded allowing myself to release during intentional breaths, especially when there were others around, and I decided to schedule a breath session with Juli. This was an event that changed my life. These sessions, where one releases whatever they are holding at an unconcious level, via guided and intentional non-stop breathing for an hour, quickly became very addictive for me. I utilized this form of release throughout my pregnancy and am so thankful for how it helped me to move through things that I was working on during this time.

Even today, as I understand how important the breath is for the mind, body, spirit connection’s health, I still find myself holding on and resisting those glorious lung movements when things get frantic. So, daily I am trying to catch myself when I feel my chest contracting and take a pause to take a deep breath in and then loudly exhale.

Unlike when I was a child surrounded by those wise adults who knew that they needed to purposely breathe to work through their stress, but unwise in the knowledge that they were blowing it right into my path, I strive to breathe in an intentional manner. I utilize my energy awareness tools, to ensure that I am not expelling what I am releasing to those around me who might unknowingly absorb it, as I did when I was a child.

My intentional breathing has now become something that actually evokes delightful giggles from my son. Hooray for breaking old patterns! Ahhhhhh…..

Has anyone else noticed the domino effect going on? It seems like it is just one thing after another these days – whether it be something on a global level such as the economy, or to something on a more personal level like communicating about challenging issues. It’s as if one bit of news leads to another and another. And for some reason there seems to be a shadow on the positive side of everything and the hard stuff is sitting in the wide open sunshine. The doorways are being opened for people to have the opportunity to admit those keep-in-the-closet-ego-type-things like “I don’t have any money” or “I have a problem with you”. Boy-oh-boy, I am constantly being given opportunities, at what seems like an accelerated pace, to face my demons, come to the truth of it and take action; and I am given chances over and over until I actually heal it within myself by making a shift that is inline with my spiritual knowingness.

How I perceive this is that we are at at time of immense change – a cleansing – on the planet. What goes in must come out. So all of the greed and ego that we have lived in for hundreds of thousands of years is now in reverse. We are experiencing it all, on a very intense level, as we work to rid ourselves of this methodology. On a higher, spiritual level, all of us have agreed to move into a new time here on earth – one in which we are starting the work for now, but may not even see in our current incarnations because there is so much releasing and healing to do. Eventually, everything will be less focused on the material and ego, and revolve more around our true-selves: love and light.

I’m bringing this up to remind us, especially myself, that every
hardship that we are currently experiencing is an opportunity for
healing, and most importantly, growth. If we can be present with what it is that seems so “hard” and try to live through it as the observer, set on neutral-release, we will be carried on the tides of change bringing us to the shores of a whole new existence. By learning techniques to become conscious in the cleansing of our old ways we will only help to propel and enhance the energetic vibration of this unavoidable shift. Just like a magnet we will attract the energy, innately found within each and every person, that aspires to do the same. There is no better form of community service at this time than to simply take care of yourself, as spirit, on this journey.

However, there is always that pesky little thing called resistance that makes it so hard to simply move through the stories as the observer, release the core of it, and tackle the next one. Well, we are all human afterall, and that is what we have known up to this point. Resistance is going to come up even more for us presently because it is connected to all that stuff we are now reversing out – it is our ego’s way of fighting against the change.

I urge all of us to be aware of what we are going through, try to release the resistance and attachment, and open up to what will be presented next. Now is the time to embrace universal spiritual principles such as grounding, having energy awareness, utilizing intuition and regularly practicing meditation techniques to connect to, and honoring, our inner-selves. Ultimately, helping to bring physical and spiritual knowingness into alignment.